Thursday, April 03, 2008

What Were They Thinking?!

I'm going to start out and tell you right up front...the opinions expressed in this post are purely my own. And that this is going to be an ongoing series. I'm not the fashion police. Lucky for these people or they would have been arrested or at least given a ticket for sure. So let's take a look at what some people think is right. But we all know is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

Let's start with hair color. Fake hair color. Hair color that doesn't even pretend to be natural anymore. I see this color, in various shades of the color not taking, on a lot of Mexican women. What was wrong with her undoubtedly beautiful black hair? This color does nothing for her skin tones. And it clashes with her top.

Then we have the probably straight guy who never saw this on Queer Eye. I don't think of myself as old-fashioned, stuck in my ways or even faintly conservative. But c'mon. Skirts on guys is just so wrong in so many ways.

Now here's something done right. This local woman, most probably with deep roots here in the Yucatan Peninsula, is proudly and naturally wearing her native dress, the huipil. I never get tired of seeing the work that goes into these. On most of them, the flower embroidery is still done by hand. Notice that even in this heat, she has her trusty shawl with her. That shawl is multi-purpose, used from everything to keeping warm to carrying groceries and babies and even as a hot pad when needed.

Contrast that to this.

It looks like a tie-dye vat exploded on her. Why do people think that bright colors equal Caribbean? Maybe this t-shirt would be at home on some Reggae island, but not here. It is just garish and rude. And what's with the beaded hair? Why do women, and some men, think that being here on vacation means getting their hair done up in these ridiculous braids and beads? The only person to ever be able to carry off that look was Bo Derrick. And that time has long since come and gone. But if you are going to insist on doing this to yourself, don't forget to apply suncreen to all the new parts in your hair. Sitting at a table next to you in a restaurant, when your scalp is all scaly and shedding from being sunburned over and over, is not appetizing at all.

Speaking of color, again with the bright colors. I supposed orange and yellow are in the same color group. But still, pairing them like this is hard on the eyes. Especially when viewed in the bright, intense light we have here. I suppose the black socks tone it down a bit.

Color, color everywhere. I guess if you haven't had a chance to get any tan yet, the next best thing is to wear the brightest color against your lily white skin as possible.

This couple is so typical around here. I can just hear the conversation as they walk along:

HER: I smell ham burning.

HIM: I told you not to walk so fast in this heat!

I wish you could have seen this guy in person. I waited for him to pass before I took this picture. The front was not a pretty sight at all. Nope, not at all. This look is only beat by the overweight, beer-bellied older men walking around town wearing nothing but a speedo that is two sizes too small. In case you didn't notice, this guy is only wearing his underwear, a pair of boxer briefs that are waaaaaay to tight for public display.

Finally, for this edition, we are back to that dastardly hair color again. Why bother or spend the money when it is going to turn out like this?

So, people. Like it or not, I am out there with my camera and I am just waiting for you to walk by! You have been warned.


heather said...

oooh, I'm afraid to meet you now *goes to touch up hair color immediately*.

jamqueen said...

Wondeful post! Some friends & I once spent a few hours on Playa Norte taking similar photos--we joked about making a calendar...

Kelly said...

Wayne, that was absolutely hilarious.... and dead on!

I've been reading your blog for a couple of months and really enjoy your posts.

Thanks for the laugh :)


Shana said...

i'm enjoying the expression on this man's face:
he appears to have suddenly lost his appetite.

and to be fair, i like the first woman's hair.

Anonymous said...

First we have to worry about being captured on camera while we're dancing - on vacation. Now we have to watch what we wear - on vacation?

Funny, but only if you don't get caught.

Candid camera on Isla - yikes! Being exposed on the Internet - on vacation - ranks right up there with high-rise condos as another unsettling development.

It seems a bit mean-spirited. Just my dos pesos. Love your blog, otherwise!

Steve Cotton said...

Nice job, Wayne. After all, you are only writing about what you see. Bloggers will never run out of material. I have often wondered why people think that self-respect should be left at home while they go on vacation. Then, I saw myself in a Tommy Bahama shirt on a friend's web site. Ouch! But even that was funny.

tacogirl said...

Too funny. My friend an I used to jokingly call it a faux pas when we saw someone we thought was oddly dressed.

Anonymous said...

i love reading your blog. we travel to the island every year for 15 days. it is our retreat away from work. where we can breathe. ok, sorry but this post didn't seem like you at all. yes yes yes. your opinion, i know i get it. the spirit of the entire post well... left me saying wow. why go that way.