I Don't Want To Hear Any Hippy Jokes!

Life has not been pleasant for me the last few days. In fact, horrible is the word that about sums it up. I wasn't going to blog about what happened, but what the heck. Everybody has a stupid moment now and then. Right?

Last Saturday, while working on a household project, I had an accident. (that'll teach me to work around the house!) I was installing the last of the protective metal "cactus" spine barriers to the front of the house, on top of the bodega. The last vulnerable spot of entry. I don't know why I bothered since there is NO CRIME ON ISLA MUJERES.* So I ended up bruising my left hip quite badly.

So badly in fact that I could not sit down, stand up, walk, lie down or get out of bed without assistance. Even then any attempts to move my left leg or hip were met with howls of pain. Folks, I have never felt such excruciating pain in my life. And I have had some pain, let me tell you.

I suffered through it Saturday and all day Sunday. Once in bed, I felt like a paraplegic. I could not move at all. Even the slightest movement caused me to yelp in pain. By Monday, with hardly any sleep and no lessening of the pain whatsoever, I figured something must be wrong. (I'm not usually such a slow learner except where going to the doctor is involved!)

So by Monday afternoon, B, the trooper that he is, had had enough. Time to go to the local clinic. I just can't tell you how much I was dreading that. My Spanish is not up to the task of describing my symptoms much further than "I have much pain". So I was a little concerned.

I needn't have worried. This was my first trip to the clinic or doctor in the five years I have been living here. The staff was beyond excellent. (except I wish they spoke a little more English, but that is my problem, not theirs) They met me at the door with a wheelchair and put up with my screams of pain as they pulled me out of the car and into the wheelchair. I guess I really didn't have to use my practiced speech about having pain!

They took my temperature and the attendant/nurse/whatever said in English, "too high, too high." That made me feel great. Then they took my blood pressure....twice! Same attendant says in English, "no good, no good!" That made me feel even better. So then they wheeled me down the hall to the doctor's office and parked me outside to wait. I thought I would be there forever, but 35 minutes later they wheeled me in to see la doctora. She was sympathetic (which I really needed about then!) and very thorough.

She ended up having somebody come in with a needle as big around as a baseball bat and that person gave me a pain injection in the butt. Three other people came with her to watch. I guess the word had spread that they were going to get to see a big white gringo ass or something. She also gave me a prescription for an anti-inflammatory ** and a prescription for the radiologist. Except that there was no radiologist on duty so I had to wait until this morning for the x-ray.

This morning I returned for the x-ray, feeling much better from the shot in the butt, thank you. I was ushered right in, no wait! Except I had to return in an hour for the "picture". No problem. I returned in an hour, the picture was ready and I was handed the raw x-ray with instructions to return at 5PM to see the bone trauma specialist. Not liking that news.

Of course, when we got home I took the x-ray out and had myself a look. *** (who wouldn't!) I am no doctor or radiologist, but even I can see a big crack running across the hip bone. I'm thinking that is not a good thing. Guess I'll find out later today! Update to follow...for sure!

Overall, the experience was as pleasant as can be, given the circumstances. Professional caring staff and prompt service. The cost was the best part!

Consult with doctor and pain injection.........180 pesos
Anti-inflammatory pills.................................. 65 pesos
X-ray................................................................150 pesos
Total so far.......................................................395 pesos, or less than $40 USD!

* I like to throw that phrase in whenever I can. It gives the monitors of my blog something to do!

** I looked the Rx on line last night. The medication I am taking is for cows and pigs! Who cares. It's working.

*** I won't be showing this x-ray to anybody. You can see my whole penis in it! Is that normal? I thought x-rays only showed bone.