Monday, May 18, 2009

Holding Up

First, I want to thank each and every one of you who have sent me their prayers and good wishes during this trying time in my life. It has meant so very much to me.

We buried my mother on Saturday, after one of the most beautiful sermons I have ever heard.

As you can imagine, these past few days have been an emotional whirlwind for me...and my siblings. The next few days will be spent on the inevitable sorting and cleaning out of my mother's stuff. It is very difficult. It is like erasing her. Add to that the fact that I am staying in her apartment where she spent the last 25 years of her life. Everywhere I turn, there she is.

I will probably be returning to the island this coming weekend.

Again, thank you all for your more than kind support.

26 comments:

Life's a Beach! said...

Wayne, when Craig's mom died in January, we stayed in her apartment. As you said, she was everyone we turned. Still thinking of you and know how hard it is. Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Wayne,
I'm so glad that you posted today. I've been thinking of you and wondered how you are.
It must be difficult to be staying in your mom's apartment but it also allows for years of memories.
Enjoy this time with your family.

-Doug

Tom and Debi said...

Just keep in mind with everything that you give out that was hers you spread her reach and memory that much further!
Best Wishes
Debi

Islagringo said...

LAB: It is hard but at the same time kind of nice. My brother who was staying with me here has now left. It is just me and my memories of my Mom. Sad but it is like I get to spend some alone time with her.

Dougie: thank you for your kind thoughts and for being a real friend. I value that very much.

tom and debi: what a beautiful thought. I hadn't considered it that way. Thank you so much for taking me down a different path. It really cheered me up!

Anonymous said...

she is live forever in your heart and many others!
take good care of yourself.

RiverGirl said...

Wayne - You have my deepest sympathies. Try to remember the good times with your mom, it will help. Best to you, take!

threecollie said...

So very sorry for your loss.....

Babs said...

Ahh, what Debi said IS a beautiful way to think of the disposal of personal things. It even comforted me today..........Thinking of you Wayne. Be kind to yourself.

Jamqueen said...

Hope you've been able to share some stories with your siblings--and wonderful memories of Mom, too!
My thoughts are with you.

Anonymous said...

Wayne, There are never any words to truly heal the pain in your heart. But, time does help. Mom will be forever in your heart. Feel her healing arms around you.

Brenda said...

Take care, thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way.

AHealey said...

Wayne - Dabi is so right. When my Dad died a few days before Christmas I flew back to England and stayed with my Mom. We were so grateful that his clothes could be donated to help many people during that cold season, and we know he would be too. She will always be in your heart, even when her "stuff" is gone. - Andrea

Theresa in Mèrida said...

Wayne, I can only imagine the ache you are feeling. My heart goes out to you.
Theresa

KfromMichigan said...

Your Mom will always be with you. Losing a parent is very difficult. Be strong and remember the good times you shared with her. My prayers are with you.

Kathy said...

Oh my goodness Wayne! I'm so very very sorry. I had no idea.

Please take very good care of yourself and many many deep hugs.

Ron said...

Take good care Wayne.

I am often at a loss of words at times of loss; but know that many have experienced losses similar to yours and have come out on the other side of them changed, but basically OK.

best wishes

Ron and Kathy

Jackie said...

I have been thinking about. I saw mu mohter eysterday and it made me sad to think that with her health issues she could be gone soon too.
Hang in there. If possible have some fun with your siblings and do something that your mother would have liked to have done.

Cynthia Johnson and Mike Nickell said...

Wayne - We're sorry to hear of your loss. When my mom died I brought home the gravy bowl and ladle that she had used at all holiday feasts. For some reason it brings me comfort and whenever I use them (and I use the ladle a lot!) I always think of my sweet mom. Maybe you can find something similar to take home. Take care.

jeanie said...

Really glad to hear from you Wayne, you have been in my thoughts. Distributing the "Stuff" was painful for me. I still have some things that I don't have room for since we downsized. I'm going to donate to a charity in my Mom's name.

JoAnne in CT said...

Wayne - it's been a few days since I've checked in here - so sorry to hear of your loss.

May memories of happier times sustain you at this most difficult time.

Take care....

Anonymous said...

The Mother/Son relationship is unique ... I appreciate all the ladies' input, but I know what you're feeling, Wayne ... ours is a protective role, and, when the inevitability of something like death happens, ... it breaks us; this isn't supposed to happen on our watch; as long as WE'RE the protectors.

It's taken me a few years and an annoying therapist to get through this ... maybe you're feeling that you need some help with this, too .... don't discount it ... you may.

The discoveries you make will add to your acceptance of the thing all of us submerge.... that we're indestructible.

But along with this comes a true joy of realizing, without having previously realized it, that this person made you what you are ... you wouldn't be you without what she did....mothers are like that ..

They rag you about brushing your teeth, but where would you be without teeth??

I'm quietly sobbing as I type this, Wayne, knowing you're probably doing the same. We will always miss them; they will always be with us. But we have to learn to live without their physical presence.

O Robert

Mary said...

You are a tangible part of your mom that lives on in everything you do.

scubalaura said...

so sorry to hear about your loss Wayne! Thanks for taking the time tp post to keep us updated.

Billie said...

Wayne, I'm so sorry to read about your Mother. Even though we are adults, we feel like little lost children when we lose a parent. I know it is a hard time but just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you.

My Way said...

Lots of love xoxoxoxox

Mark said...

Wayne, We've been thinking about you, you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. It is so hard losing someone you love.